Most terrifying mom-moment yet

V tried to give me a heart attack/fall down the stairs yesterday.

We were at a friend's house who have a nice set of stairs going up into the loft/playroom area, (which is were we play all the time) and V's never been interested in stairs before. I always sit in between the toys and stairs though, just in case. Well I turned for about 5 seconds to put a toy away, and when I looked back, she was right on the edge, with one hand reaching down. I DOVE for her foot, and just missed it as she toppled head over heals over the edge. It seemed to happen in slow motion, she looked like a rag doll flopping down the stairs. I remember so many things I thought in the few seconds while it was happening, "This is all my fault!", "she will break her neck!", "I can't believe I didn't see her!", "her head could crack on the tile at the bottom of the stairs!", and, "I'm the worst mother ever!". As I'm trying to come up with the best way to catch her, (do I jump to the bottom? What if I land on her? Do I slide down on my stomach? Run down the side screaming? -the latter being my choice,) she stops. She landed length-wise on her back, only 4 steps down. I feel like it's safe to say, that it was a God-thing. The step was barely wider than she was.

I am so thankful that we serve a God Who watches. Can't you just picture an invisible guardian angel standing on the stairs, waiting to catch her? The Lord can protect her so much better than I can. These are the things for me to remember at night when I can't sleep without checking on her "just one more time"! She is safer anywhere (the deepest darkest jungles of Africa) in the Lord's hands, than anywhere (my friend's suburban upper middle-class home) in mine. This is a lesson for me to learn now, or at least before she starts driving.

The night before the stairs incident I woke from two different dreams, thinking she'd fallen off our bed. Both times I had to go and make sure she was still in her crib. Last night Hubby said she could sleep with us (I was still rather shaken up thinking of all the "could-have" endings from that morning's adventure), but I was too scared she'd crawl over the edge while I was asleep. This was the first time I haven't brought her to our room when given the option! Maybe I will start sleeping through the night soon after all.